are stay at home dads losers

Are stay at home dads losers? No, they’re superheroes. Here’s why.

Last Updated on September 10, 2021.

Many stay at home dads are constantly told that they’re “losers” and should go back to work, but stay-at-home fathers don’t stay at home because they want to be losers. They stay there for their children. There is a lot of evidence proving how beneficial it can be for the child to have a stay-at-home dad. Stay-at-home dads may not make as much money or achieve as high of a level in their profession, but you don’t need all those things if your heart is in the right place!

More and more dads are staying home with kids

Stay at home dads are becoming more common. It is estimated that stay at home dads make up around 17% of stay-at-home parents. According to Pew Research Center, this percentage has gone up drastically since 1989 when stay at home dads only made up around 10%. There are many reasons why stay at home dads are on the rise including more gender equality and men wanting to be present in their children’s lives.

Why gender norms are hard to break

Stay at home dads go against the gender norms. The stay at home dad is not seen as the norm in society. This can make it harder for stay at home dads because they are constantly expected to be the breadwinner of the family no matter how hard they work or what sacrifices they have to make. So stay-at-home dads struggle with being confident and taking pride in their achievements just like stay-at-home moms do.

However stay at home dads are not judged as harshly because it is still seen as “unnatural” for a man to stay at home with kids, even though there’s nothing wrong about that!

Gender norms are very difficult to break because they are so deeply engrained in society. It can take many, many years for these norms to change, and only if they are challenges by members of the society.

Why some men stay home with their kids

There are a number of reasons why stay at home dads stay at home. Here are the four major reasons.

Career challenges

If dad has experienced career challenges, he may stay at home with the kids so he can focus on his family. Career burnout can be a huge factor that contributes to stay-at-home fathers.

Illness or disability

If dad is unable to work, he will likely stay home with the kids. An illness or disability that prevents a stay-at-home father from working could necessitate his role to change into a caregiving role.

Mom may be the main breadwinner

If mom is the breadwinner, stay at home dads may choose to stay with their children and take care of them.

Strong paternal desire to be with kids

Some stay at home dads stay because they have a strong desire to be with their children.

What is a “Successful Dad” anyway?

What does it mean to be a successful dad? It really depends on your family! The foundation of any successful parent is happy, healthy children. But after that, it’s important for parents to set goals, build a strong familial bond, and raise responsible, amazing human beings.

How kids benefit from the reversal of gender roles

Kids benefit when we challenge gender roles. It empowers children to explore their own gender identity and it challenges the norm so that all genders are viewed as equal.

SAHD have the toughest job of all

Stay at home dads face all the same challenges as stay at home moms (which is a ridiculously difficult job), but they also face the social stigma of being a stay at home dad.

why stay at home dads are NOT losers
are stay at home dads losers? No way!

5 Reasons SAHDs Rock (according to science)

Kids with more involved dads do better in virtually everything.

There’s a phenomena known as the “Father Effect“, which basically says that kids who have involved fathers perform better in all aspects of life. What’s more, the more involvement from dad, the better off the child is. So it makes sense that stay at home dads (who are with kids virtually all day long) tend to raise kids who thrive.

Kids have a better appreciation of relationships and family

When we break the gender norms and demonstrate teamwork as a family, kids tend to have more appreciation and gratitude towards their family members.

Dads offer a strong male role model 

Stay at home dads are changing what masculinity is for kids. They are offering an example of a strong male role model that is not just about being tough.

Dads offer a different perspective

When stay at home dads stay with kids, they offer a different perspective for their children. This can be incredibly beneficial because it offers more than one viewpoint in the family dynamic which results in deeper conversations and learning opportunities. Kids of stay at home dads are also bigger risk takers and are more likely to challenge themselves.

Mom and Dad Thrive when

Women are generally better at setting boundaries with work and creating a better work/life balance. This results in more time where mom and dad can connect. As a result their relationship is more likely to thrive.

Tips to Thriving as a SAHD

  • Manage your time effectively.
  • Be proactive with household chores and stay on top of things so that you don’t become resentful towards the stay-at-home role.
  • Stick to routines for kids, but make room for spontaneity (to avoid boredom). 
  • Learn ways to get out of the house if it feels like things are getting a little stale.
  • Take care of yourself – stay healthy with exercise, eat well, and make time for your interests outside the house.
  • Be flexible! Kids change constantly so stay on top of things to stay calm as often as you can. It’s key that stay at home dads stay positive because it rubs off on kids.
  • Don’t stay stuck in the past; try to stay optimistic and focus on what you can do today, not yesterday or tomorrow.
  • If stay at home dads feel like they are struggling with their role: talk about it! The more we discuss this topic, the better our stay-at-home experience will be for us and our families.
  • Don’t let stay at home dad jokes get to you – it’s important that stay at home dads stay positive because their kids are watching! They need to be an example of positivity for their children, so they should brush those types of comments off as a joke or simply ignore them if possible.

The Bottom Line

Stay at home dads are awesome. Anyone who thinks stay at home dads are losers are out of touch and need to mind their own business. Kids benefit greatly when stay at home dads stay involved and stay positive. In fact, stay at home dads are some of the most selfless people on earth because they put their families first without a second thought.

What You Should Do Next…

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2. Join Our Free Online Community

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3. Take a Free 60-Minute Parenting Webinar

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