Parenting can be tough. There are so many signs that your daughter is sexually active, and you may not know how to handle it. It’s important to take these signs seriously and do what you can as a parent to help your daughter. Below we will discuss 14 signs that indicate your daughter is sexually active. Plus tips for parents on how they can best help their teen stay safe and responsible.
14 Signs Your Daughter Is Sexually Active
She wants to wash her own clothes
If your daughter is asking to wash her own clothes out of your sight, there’s probably something she doesn’t want you to notice.
She asks for more privacy
If your daughter is asking for more privacy, like taking phone calls in her room, using her laptop only in her room, or keeping the door closed when friends are over, there’s a chance that conversations are ones you wouldn’t approve of.
She asks about birth control
Maybe one of the most obvious signs is if your daughter actually asks questions about birth control, including asking you to make a doctor’s appointment!
She’s developing physically
If your daughter is developing physically, she’s probably attracting the attention of her peers. It’s not a sure-fire sign of sexual activity. But this in conjunction with other signs, like asking for privacy, could be a red flag.
Her wardrobe has changed
If your daughter has drastically changed her style to a more mature, revealing look, she may be trying to attract the attention of boys.
Condoms are mysteriously vanishing
If you have a stash of condoms that are mysteriously disappearing, there’s a good chance she’s experimenting with sex.
Sleepovers with friends are more frequent
Asking to stay over at friend’s houses more often might be an innocent development in their social life, but it could also mean that they’re seeking more privacy.
Her attitude towards relationships changes
If your daughter no longer has the “gross, boys have cooties” attitude, there’s a chance she’s taking an interest in romantic relationships, which can eventually lead to sex.
She only calls “friends” when you’re out of the room
Avoiding conversations with her “friends” when you’re around might be a a sign she’s having more mature conversations with her friends.
Her grades are dropping
If your daughter’s grades are slipping, especially right after she starts dating, it can be a sign that she’s sexually active and no longer paying attention to her schoolwork.
She won’t leave the house without makeup
At some point during puberty, your daughter’s physical appearance will become a top priority. When she starts insisting that makeup is a necessity before leaving the house, it might mean she’s trying to attract attention from boys (or girls).
She’s asking questions about sex
If your daughter starts asking questions about sex, there’s a good chance she’s starting to explore her sexuality, possibly with others.
She dodges your questions
When you ask questions about relationships and sex, your daughter might dodge the questions if she feels uncomfortable or embarrassed. This could be pure immaturity, or it might be a sign that she’s sexually active.
You find explicit content in their web browser or social media
If you find mature content in her web browser, your daughter is probably doing research to learn more about explicit topics.
How you can adopt a sex-positive parenting strategy
Sex positive parenting is about normalizing the sexual nature of humans. It’s not about encouraging sexual activity. On the contrary actually, it’s about teaching kids about sexuality and how to make mature, healthy decisions for themselves. It’s also about avoiding the taboo nature of sex that is prevalent in our culture.
You can read more about adopting a sex-positive parenting strategy in our complete guide here.
What you should do if you suspect your daughter is sexually active
If you suspect your daughter is sexually active, it’s time to have a conversation. It’s important to refrain from judgement and to have open, honest communication about this extremely important topic. Let your child know that you’re there to support her, and talk about body safety rules to help her stay safe.
Education Resources for Parents
The Bottom Line
As a parent, it’s important to be open and communicative with your child. Sex can feel like an awkward topic, but talking about it will help you keep tabs on their relationships while also reducing the chance of them engaging in risky sexual behavior before they’re prepared for the consequences.