It’s not always easy to know when it is the right time to leave your marriage because of a bad stepchild. Some may say that when you’re married, you should do everything possible to make it work. Others will tell you that there’s definitely a point where the marriage should end. Whether or not it is the best decision for everyone involved, there are some cases when divorce might be necessary.
Reasons You May Be Struggling as a Step Parent
There are many reasons why you might struggle when trying to parent your step child. You could be feeling like they never listen or respect you, especially when it comes to things like chores and curfews. Maybe there is constant fighting between the two of you. And it has caused irreparable damage in other areas of your relationship with their biological parent (your spouse).
Perhaps the most difficult thing when trying to co-parent is when you don’t feel like your spouse can get on board with what needs to be done. You may find that they are more willing to let things slide when it comes to their biological child. This could lead them down a path of allowing behaviors that you feel is dangerous and should be stopped.
Signs it might be time to break away from the stepchild
Here are 6 signs it might be time to end your relationship and break away from the stepchild.
It’s impacting your relationship with your spouse.
When the step child is causing a lot of stress in your relationship with your spouse, it might be time to consider when to leave and how you can put an end to this. Whether they are taking one side or another when it comes to disagreements between you and their biological parent, or not doing enough when it comes to discipline; there could be a lot of problems when it comes to how your spouse is acting.
If you feel that the step child isn’t willing to work on their behavior or listen when they are being told what needs to be done, then there’s no reason why things need to continue as they are. They may not fully understand just what type of effect their negative behavior is having on everyone around them and when to leave your marriage because of a bad stepchild may be the best solution.
You’re more invested in parenting than your spouse.
Some spouses may decide that one parent will be the disciplinarian. And the others won’t play as much of a role in parenting. While this works for some, when it comes to step children there’s no guarantee how things are going to work out when you and your spouse disagree on what should be done when raising them together. If you find that you’re the one who is more invested in parenting and discipline, then it might be time to separate yourself from the family.
You feel angry and resentful constantly
It’s natural to feel angry, frustrated and resentful when trying to parent someone who doesn’t listen or respect your authority. It can be normal when one person in a relationship feels this way about their spouse’s other children because of how they’ve been treated by them before getting married into the family.
Your lack of impact parenting your step child is hurting your self-esteem
If you feel like when trying to parent your step child that they’re not letting you have any impact; then it may be time when to leave the relationship. You could find yourself feeling less confident and more likely to make mistakes when parenting. You might lack the control or power you think you should have over their behavior.
Your step child sabotages you
If your stepchild is deliberately trying to make your life difficult when it comes to parenting them, then when should leave the relationship could be a good idea. They may not feel like they are getting enough attention or respect from you or their other parent when trying to discipline them and because of this will attempt sabotage things between you instead. This can lead down an unhealthy path for everyone. And it may be time to leave your marriage because of a bad stepchild.
Your step child deliberately hurts your kids
When your step child is causing trouble when it comes to the safety of your biological children, then when should leave your marriage. Whether they are making your children upset when it comes to how they’re being treated by them, or trying to get into dangerous situations when with them; there’s no reason why you should try and continue on when things have gone too far.
How to tackle step-child problems
Here are 6 strategies to tackle step-child problems.
Get clarity on your role
One of the first things when considering when to leave your step child is figuring out exactly what type of role you should be taking when it comes to how they’re being raised. If one parent is more hands-off while another plays a bigger role, then there’s no real way for this relationship to work if when to leave because of a bad stepchild becomes the final option when there’s no other way around it.
Practice effective communication
Practice using effective communication strategies to ensure no miscommunications among your blended family.
Deal with your own emotions
We all have baggage. Make sure you’re processing your own emotions effectively before trying to parent your stepchild.
Make your marriage the priority
Your spouse should come before your kids. Put in the time and energy to connect with your spouse. If your relationship is healthy, you’re more likely to be able to work together to figure out how to handle your stepchild.
Develop and maintain a relationship with the other parent
Building a relationship with your step child’s other parent can help you in the long run. If you two work together, it will be much easier for everyone involved when deciding what should happen next when trying to deal with them as a parenting team and not individuals.
Get your partner in your corner when
If you’re having difficulty being a stepparent, get your spouse in your corner. Have them work with you when trying to figure out how to be a great stepparent will make your life easier.
The Bottom Line
Leaving your marriage because of a stepchild is not an easy choice. But you have to do what’s right for you.